His Lordship's Lap Read online

  “It certainly seems so and for good reason. Tell me, Marie, how can equality be had when the men are encouraged to pursue such barbaric acts such as spanking?”

  “Weren’t you ever punished as a child?”

  “My parents had a hands-off methodology of child rearing. I was assigned over to the cook and tutors who guided my behavior with the tongue, not with a switch.”

  “Did that upbringing result in your feeling loved and desired?” the maid asked with genuine curiosity.

  Vanessa hesitated before she shook her head. “Those feelings were never considered essential within our home, nor were they interpreted as being necessities to function successfully in society. Love and desire are purely for self-satisfaction. Father loved his hounds and horses and desired power. Mother loved attention and desired adoration. My brothers loved the drink and desired whores.”

  “What of you? What did you love and desire?”

  “I loved people and desired freedom.”

  “Freedom from what? You had everything a person could wish for, didn’t you? A big home, education, food —”

  Vanessa studied the young woman for a moment. “No. Wealth and power can never fill the empty spaces in the heart. I wished to be loved and wanted by my family, to be understood and accepted by those whom I tried to assist, and to belong to a social circle without the need to hide my intelligence. I just wanted to belong somewhere and have a purpose to live other than being a pretty trinket on a man’s arm. I never achieved either.”

  “I can’t imagine living such an existence. I’ve never felt as though I was without a home or a purpose. My parents, Edward and Lord Harrison, have made certain of that. It must be difficult to grow up in a place where you are not loved,” Marie said sadly.

  “Many British parents show their love to their children by giving them the means to succeed. Mine simply took that practice to the extreme. I had an exceptional education.”

  “Yet, you weren’t permitted to use that education because you were a woman. It seems that the very thing they gave to you is what also caused you to fail.”

  “I have not failed!”

  “I don’t mean to offend. Please forgive me.” Marie touched her mistress’ arm. “I was just pointing out an observation. You wouldn’t be with us if your skills and education been respected and found useful. Isn’t that true?”

  “Sadly, yes,” came the unhappy admission. “But the opinions of foolish people don’t make me a failure. Marie? Why do you tolerate such a brutal behavior? Isn’t love supposed to be gentle and kind?”

  “Have you witnessed any brutality in this home?”

  “Well, no.”

  “Nor will you. Everyone who loves me does so with both gentleness and kindness. I would also much rather have a sore bum given to me by a man who cares about my life and happiness than to be locked away in the prison and forgotten by one who does not.”

  Vanessa noted the clipped tone of defensiveness in the woman’s voice. “Please have patience with my questions. I’m just trying to understand a culture that is so foreign to my ways of thinking and conflicts with my personal beliefs. I’ve also been limited to what I have seen in this house and with the staff. I’ve not been allowed into town because of the storms.”

  “You won’t see anything different in town than you would in London. People are fairly friendly, but the dynamics are subtle. I’m sorry if I seem to be cross, it wasn’t intended. I just love the life that Man and Lord Harrison has given me, and nothing will change that. Ask any question that you wish and I will do my best to answer.”

  “I must sound incredibly ignorant.”

  “There is no shame in not knowing.”

  “Very well. What occurs should a woman commit a heinous crime, such as murder? Is she just spanked and forgiven?”

  “There has never been such a crime committed here. The worst that has occurred was with a married woman who slept with another man.”

  “And why would she have done that? Was her husband cruel to her?”

  “Quite the contrary. Her husband had been good to her. Some think he was too good in that she was treated with leniency and allowed to behave unbecomingly. Instead of being satisfied with a kind and gentle man, she sought after one who was known to be rebellious against all authority. They fell in love but became careless. When the couple was discovered, she was returned to her husband, and her lover was publicly caned.”

  “That is horrible! How long ago was this?”

  “Just one year in the passing. The Head of State himself administered the punishment. It was very difficult for all of them.”

  “The Head of State is Harrison’s father, correct? Why would it be difficult for him? Was it because his authority and laws were challenged?”

  “No,” Marie said shaking her head. “It had nothing to do with Lord Ansley or his pride. The man involved was his youngest son and the rumors were that he blatantly disobeyed the laws in the belief that he would escape punishment due to his father’s position. Lord Harrison was severely taken aback by the entire situation. He came to his brother’s defense, but the evidence was undeniable.”

  “How horrible! What happened to the poor woman and her husband?” Vanessa asked gently.

  “Her husband underwent special instruction given by His Lordship, and she was granted the position of headmistress of the training academy.”

  “Are you saying that she was promoted for breaking the law?” Vanessa ogled her.

  “Promotion is not always considered a reward, much like what Lord Harrison intended when he promoted me from parlor maid to attend to you.” Marie’s eye twinkled. “I still do not believe it to be the punishment that he expected it to be, except that the additional duties occasionally cost me some free time.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t be. I love that I am being allowed the chance to have a new friend. You also make me think and exercise my mind like no one else has. Likewise, this added responsibility as headmistress removed all her remaining freedom and made her accountable for the rest of her life under the watchful eyes of every person in this town.”

  “Since when does falling in love mean serving a life sentence?”

  “Lord Ansley wrote laws that prohibit divorce. A woman who sullies herself outside of marriage becomes her husband’s servant, but not his bedmate. Sex is no longer permitted in the marriage, causing both to suffer for failing one another. The price paid for adultery is high, and discourages people from venturing in that direction.”

  Vanessa shook her head. “I thought the laws were to make people happy and healthy. Forcing someone to stay in a dissatisfying marriage is nothing short of cruelty. That poor woman.”

  “Betrayal is just as cruel, isn’t it? How can a husband bed a woman who has chosen another over him?” Marie asked, arching her brow.

  “You have a point, which is why divorce or at least a legal separation should be permitted. It would give both partners a second chance to find someone compatible so that they could be happy. So what does she do as the headmistress?”

  The expression on Marie’s face indicated her relief at the change of subject. “She is responsible for assuring that both the men and women at the academy receive the education that each person requires based on their individual needs. The goal is to prevent another unprepared or unsatisfactory coupling. Between that and her household chores with two children, she has no time for mischief.”

  “What happened to her lover?”

  “He left for America and vowed never to return. I know that Lord Harrison and he exchange letters, but his name is never mentioned at the table.”

  “Interesting,” Vanessa murmured, contemplating the words. “What if the lady had refused the additional responsibilities of Head Mistress?”

  “We do not speak openly of exile.” Marie studied the floor as she chose her words. “A woman who refuses to accept a life of happiness and fulfillment, and who is unwilling to follow the laws made for her w
ell-being, is sent away. She is given two months of wages based on her skills and transportation to where-ever she wishes to go. Nothing more. It’s happened only twice in our history.”

  “The conditions accompanying exile appear to be more of an incentive to leave and an opportunity to escape. How is that considered punishment? She obviously is unhappy here, and the state is giving her the means to leave.”

  “With no recommendations, it would be difficult to gain employment, find safe lodging or function in a world that would just as quickly send her to jail for her ignorance. Having money in her purse and no one to protect her also opens her up to cutthroats, thieves and the unsavory.”

  Vanessa considered her words. “This is true. Even I, with my education, have little practical experience and would find it difficult to care for myself without the needed referrals.”

  “Precisely. The only means of survival would be to take a job in a mill or factory. The labor and treatment one would receive in such a place would bring much more pain than having your bottom reddened over His Lordship’s lap.”

  Marie’s words rang true. Consequences of actions existed in every society, but to be spanked as a consequence was still so childish! The maid wrapped her hand around Vanessa’s elbow and gently squeezed in response to the silence. “I’ll do my best to teach you how to be happy here. I give you my word.”

  Vanessa accepted her offer. She had no other choice at the moment.

  The chores performed prior to dinner involved menial tasks of shining silver, dusting, and preparing the meal. Marie was summoned to meet with Edward, leaving Vanessa to wander about to observe the staff as they merrily engaged in their duties. Having never been educated in the domestic services, she was not permitted to help. This denial brought about a longing to participate and gain a sense of belonging to the happy household.

  “How are you faring, my dear?” Harrison asked coming up from behind her and placing a hand upon her shoulder.

  “I’m bored. I’ve asked to be allowed a spoon to polish or a plate to dry and have been refused.”

  “They are abiding by my instructions. You can read a book or work on your sketching.”

  “I’m not in the mood to read, and my drawing is about as artful as my singing. Even a young child would be given an object to play with. I do not like this feeling of separation,” she confessed. “This is how I felt living with my family in London. I never fit in anywhere, and it left me very lonely and isolated. I’ve been here a week and should be allowed to do something other than sit prettily in a chair and read.”

  “Developing a need to belong to the household, even with performing duties, is part of our process. Fear not, little one. Soon enough you will have so many chores that you will be begging me for a reduction. You will fit in perfectly. Won’t she, ladies?” The women nodded their heads in agreement.

  “There is no middle ground here, is there?”

  “There is not,” he said with a chortle. “Would you care to take a walk with me? We have several hours before dinner, and it will help you pass the time.”

  “Isn’t it raining?”

  “It rains here quite often due to our location, but we seem to be clear of a storm for the moment. Are you averse to a stroll in the rain and splashing in the mud?” He looked amused.

  Vanessa felt her face heat up. “I am not averse to the rain. I am averse to getting wet and taking on a chill. A lady doesn’t walk in the rain unless it’s necessary and we certainly don’t splash in the mud.”

  “Perhaps not in London, but we do plenty of splashing here. Come.”

  Kept warm and dry in the waterproof capes that Harrison had provided, Vanessa walked hand-in-hand with him through the lush gardens and sculptures around his estate. She was quick to discover the ease and comfort she had at his side as the rain pattered around her, bounced off the ground and pinged into tiny puddles.

  “Take a deep breath,” Harrison said squeezing her hand. “That is one reason that I love to walk in a light shower. It was nothing quite like this aroma, is there?”

  Inhaling deeply, she found the scent to be calming and refreshing—a damp mixture of ocean, fresh-cut hay, and newly plowed dirt. “It is unusually pleasant,” she agreed. “It doesn’t smell quite like this at home.”

  “You are home.” He wrapped his arm around her as they walked along the path. “It will take you a while to feel that way, but I promise that it will happen.”

  “How can you make a promise like that? You took me away from everything that I’ve ever known, including my family. How could such a strange place ever really feel like home?”

  “Be truthful with me. Do you miss your family? Your friends? The dark skies of London? The dirt and poverty in the streets that you can’t change?” He stopped to face her, cupping her face in his hands. “Tell me what you miss.”

  Vanessa looked into his eyes, hesitated, and then shifted her gaze to the ground. “The only thing that I miss is my freedom. There are no people or places that hold my heart back in London. You’re already aware of that fact.”

  “What kind of freedom did you have? Your words were censored, your actions were limited, and no one stood in your defense when injustice was brought before you.”

  “What you say is true. However, I did not fear for my ability to sit.”

  “You have nothing to be afraid of now unless of course you elect to misbehave.” He smiled mischievously.

  “I don’t know your rules which increase the risk to misbehave without intent.”

  “I am a fair and reasonable man. Do you think that I would discipline you without first giving you the opportunity to learn?” he asked, tilting his head.

  “I don’t know anything about you except for what other people say. Their perception of you is skewed and what they consider fair and reasonable may quite possibility be much different than my interpretation. What I do know is that your society does not allow me to choose simple things such as my clothing, my bedtime, how I spend my day, or even how to address my future husband.”

  “Do you believe that your society gives you those choices?”

  “Of course, I do!”

  “Tell me then,” he said taking her hand again and resumed their walk. “What is this thing called fashion? Does a woman voluntarily truss herself up in multiple skirts and cages despite the warmth of the weather? What of bone crushing corsets and tight lacing that inhibits breathing, and hats that serve no purpose except to add height and make a woman look like an overstuffed bird?”

  “Fashion is a matter of choice and allows individual expression of beauty,” Vanessa said stubbornly.

  “Perhaps, however if you choose not to dress according to fashion, would you not be ostracized?” he asked slyly. “No answer? What of this example – are you permitted the freedom to spend your day as you desire?”

  “Yes. No one dictates how a person spends their day.”

  “No? Assuming that you are not wealthy and unmarried, how would you survive?”

  “I would probably work as a governess.”

  “Would you then have to abide by the rules and the hours set by your employer? Stand by his timeline and comply with his schedule?”

  “Well, yes…”

  “Then it appears that your day is not spent as you desire. Even the wealthy have responsibilities to those they manage and the properties they own. Can you see that what is perceived as freedom is imprisonment and that the penalty suffered by those who fail to respond to society demands is great?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “As for how to address your future husband, doesn’t etiquette and social propriety dictate how one is to demonstrate public honor and respect?”

  “This discussion is nonsense,” Vanessa grumbled, kicking a rock off the path.

  “Is it? The look on your face suggests that you hear the truth and that you don’t care for it.”

  “The look on my face is simply relaying the fact that I’m not enjoying the conversation as much as you seem to be
,” she pouted.

  “Why is that? I thought you enjoy a debate.”

  “I enjoy debate when I can win. I have not found an individual who could discuss issues without resorting to demeaning comments or means to mute my opinion.”

  “Have I done that? Has anything I’ve said been interpreted as an offense or a means to prevent you from expressing your thoughts?”

  “No, which is the reason that you are so dangerous. I cannot predict your way of thinking, and it makes me uncomfortable.”

  “That is exactly what Her Majesty says about me,” Harrison said with a loud laugh. “That is one lady that knows how to voice her opinion. She also knows that I respect them. Here we are!”

  “What is this place?”

  “This is the training academy. You will be coming here to receive instructions on what to practice at home.”

  “Marie said that my practicing these skills under your roof is not a traditional custom.”

  “She is correct. There are no provisions in our laws that accommodate foreigners who enter into citizenship, which provided me with the opportunity to take you in and train you myself. Nessa?”

  “Yes?” She turned to look at him.

  He squeezed her hand. “I am headmaster of this place and my power here is absolute. Only you are permitted to call me by name. I grant you that privilege to allow all to know that you belong directly to me.”

  “Like a dog?” Her eyes narrowed.

  “Like my betrothed and the future First Lady. Learn all you can by what you see so that we might discuss it at a further time. You are also to tell me if any man touches you or treats you with disrespect. I will not tolerate either.”

  His inclusion continued to confuse her. How could he be so open to her thoughts and opinions, yet also state that she would be spanked for a lack of discipline? Nothing made sense, least of all the attraction that she was starting to feel towards His Lordship, Harrison Ansley.

  Chapter 4

  Vanessa took a moment to study the enormous brick building surrounded by cobblestone. The word that came to mind was ‘bleak’, as it held nothing soft or pleasant to the eyes. Windows were scarce, the architecture simple, and the gardening nonexistent.