His Lordship's Lap Read online

  The young man snarled, standing quickly and stormed from the room without another word.

  “I may have acquired yet another enemy,” Vanessa bemoaned.

  “Yes, but you have also gained an admirer. Please excuse us, madam. I wish to speak to the Headmaster alone for a few minutes,” the man said kindly.

  “I shall return when we’re done, and then we’ll leave for home,” Harrison informed her, following the tutor from the office. “You may either work on those lines or read a book.”

  Vanessa watched as the two men departed and then settled again in front of the warm fire. The room grew darker as the day departed and the rain grew heavier by the minute with the pounding against the sparse windows echoing through the chamber. The shadows cast by the flickering flames bounced against the bookcase, catching her attention to the controversial collection of elegant, leather-bound books written by authors such as Swinburne, de Sade, Charles Darwin, and even the American writer, Edgar Allan Poe. Having never had the opportunity to read his writings, she settled down with the latter and began to peruse the pages, becoming engrossed in the illustrations and the hypnotic effects of the words.

  “I see you are enjoying my treasures,” Harrison said from behind her. He lifted a richly bound book from above her head and gently leafed through it. “I’ve made every effort to preserve those works that are banned by the British obscenity publication act. I believe that people need to decide for themselves what is pure and what is immoral, not to allow a gathering of prudish old men who prefer to diddle with themselves behind closed doors to make that decision for them.”

  Vanessa looked at him with undisguised amazement. “You are a conundrum. When will you cease to surprise me with your outlook on life and politics?”

  “Hopefully never. Every night, we shall discuss passages from these books and explore our thoughts together. That would not cause you offense, would it?”

  “No, not in the least. I do wish to apologize sincerely to you for my behavior, though. That boy infuriated me. It wasn’t my intent to overstep you.”

  “Nor did you. Sir Landers was very pleased with your intervention and courage.”

  “Landers?”

  “He is Lady Bess’ father. He favors his daughter greatly, despite her actions. He blames himself for not having taught her husband a firmer means of approach.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Sir Lander’s was her husband’s tutor. While he suspected that his daughter had unusual physical tastes and desires, he did not communicate these needs to her husband before they married.”

  “What kind of tastes and desires does she have?”

  “She does not respond well to verbal affronts; rather she finds delight in physical harshness. She is much like our friend, Swinburne.”

  “Is it true that he seeks pleasure in pain?”

  “It is. I have met the man on several occasions. He is an interesting character, small in stature and with a brilliant mind. I admire his ability to express his needs openly and without reservation.”

  Vanessa followed him to the window and touched his arm gently. “What about you? Do you seek freedom too?”

  “We all long for different types of freedom. My desire is to be able to explore my own darkness and sexual needs. My brother had the courage to do so but chose a married woman which led to his shame. He has several opponents who remain here and are loyal to my father, and these people have not learned the mercy that comes with forgiveness.”

  “Let me guess,” she said, gesturing towards the door. “The man that I confronted is one of them.”

  “Yes, but he goes to the extreme. You were correct about his cruelty. He is also affronted because I refused the offer to have his sister’s hand and cheated him out of a place of prominence and wealth. He also abhors the fact that he must complete his training under my guidance before he is permitted to wed.”

  “Are there women who will actually accept an offer from him?”

  “Between you, me and Sir Landers, we will do everything possible to prevent it. Of course, if he does happen to pass the training, all we can do is give fair warning to the girl and her family regarding his behavior. As I mentioned, his father is a member of our governing body and holds a finite position of power, but nothing more. I feel that it’s safe to say that Randolph won’t be finding any available women to abuse for a while. He has neither riches, power or personality to gain any woman’s interest.”

  “I agree. His personality has the endearing characteristics of a blowfish,” Vanessa scoffed. “No woman could be so desperate that she would express desire in him, could she? What of an arranged marriage?”

  “I think we can discourage any families from pursuing that method. Even so, he is required to pass the academy before he is permitted to wed, and is forbidden from active involvement until he apprentices.”

  “I worry about the abuse. Your public baths are an excellent place to observe any physical harm, but would not show sexual or emotional spoil. Both of those can be devastating.”

  “You’re a very wise woman, Nessa. You are also correct, but we can only do so much without a woman’s cooperation.”

  “I don’t understand why people must behave in such a manner. It’s so immature and selfish.”

  “It’s the way of the world. There are those who don’t care about the needs or happiness of others, only themselves. It is sad, darling, but unavoidable.”

  “I do have a question. If Lady Bess desired a harsher and more abrupt treatment and did not receive that from her husband, why isn’t she permitted to divorce? Is her husband content in their marriage? Marie said that they weren't permitted to live as husband and wife any longer.”

  Harrison shook his head. “Marie talks too much, but it is true. My father has imposed his beliefs upon the people here and has banned divorce. As for Lady Bess, her husband is complacent and came to her through an arranged marriage between the parents. She is there to cook, clean, raise his children, and entertain guests.”

  “So she is his servant. As for the issue of divorce, how can your father prohibit it? God hates divorce, but doesn’t forbid it.”

  “I’m realizing that this is one of the laws that require changing, but will take time. Father claimed that divorce will open up the doors for an easy way to avoid the responsibility and commitment of marriage and that selfish parents will harm their children in the process of seeking happiness.”

  “A miserable marriage without love harms the children far more than divorce or separation.”

  “I agree and am doing what I can to prevent repeating the same mistakes as others. I don’t wish to end up being as miserable as Lady Bess, my brother, or even my parents.”

  “Nor do I” Vanessa whispered, leaning against his shoulder as she also looked outside. “But how do you know if the coupling arrangement will bring contentment?”

  “You don’t. That is one reason that we started this program. It allows time for those in arranged marriages to come to know one another and express their needs before being wed.”

  “How exactly do they do that? This training appears to be structured towards tasks, not physical or emotional needs.”

  “Couples spend a significant amount of time together and are encouraged to talk without constraints. They are also permitted to experiment with their physical needs.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “The extent of exploring sensuality is solely left to the mutual consent of the individuals. No man is permitted to force himself on a woman, nor is he allowed to manipulate or coerce her into the sexual act prior to their marriage. If he does so, he is charged with rape and immediately removed from the island. A woman is educated in some of the arts of pleasure and is permitted, at her discretion, to practice with only her betrothed if she desires.”

  Vanessa was taken aback. “You don’t maintain the purity of the marriage bed?”

  “We believe that it is better to know compatibility prior to being
wed than to enter into a commitment and find oneself to be a poor match.”

  “But what of the risk of bearing children? And what does the church say about fornication?”

  “You’ve seen the vials worn by the people. Those women who are unwed have a means to prevent conception. As for the church, well, just say that we don’t put on a large public production of our practices.”

  Vanessa shook her head. “This country continues to confuse me. It is like oil and water to my mind.”

  “I prefer to view ourselves as an experiment in the human condition.” Harrison smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Sir Landers requested that I not discipline you for your actions today. He said that any attempt to silence your opinions would be foolish and contradict my purpose for bringing you here.”

  “I happen to agree with the man.”

  “I assume that you would,” he said with a chuckle. “However, it puts me in a quandary. I will reduce your sentence to the length of two weeks. After that time, you may rejoin society and begin your instruction. I still expect you to complete your lines.”

  Vanessa glanced at the hand that gently encircled hers, her mind and body overwhelmed with confusion and conflict. “May I ask for Sir Landers’s reasoning?” She questioned softly.

  “Sir Landers reminded me that a child requires discipline, not punishment. He felt that I was too severe, given your intent to do right by Bess based on your beliefs and instinctive need to protect her. One should not endure punishment for having a different belief system, and he felt that I was unjust.”

  Vanessa felt herself admiring the old man, as well as Harrison for his willingness to listen to counsel. “That was very noble of him. Did he suggest what should be done for my disobedience?”

  “He felt that you should be taken across the knee for a healthy dose of the hairbrush and be done with it. I agreed, but he also understood my decision to allow you to decide the payment for your first transgression.”

  “I appreciate being allowed to have a choice, so thank you.”

  Harrison nodded, still watching the fall of the rain against the panels of glass. “I am sorry that you will miss the dinner party and salon that he is having at his house after church in two weeks. He invited our entire household to attend – it’s a celebration of one of his Unwed’s completion of her course of training.”

  Vanessa felt her heart twitch. She adored dinner parties and salon talks – when permitted to partake. “It is unfortunate that I shall miss it,” she said sadly. “I am confident that between you and Sir Landers, the discussion would be lively.”

  “All are involved in discussions at his home. It is quite the affair. However, I shall not attend without you at my side.”

  “Why not? You don’t require my presence to enjoy yourself.”

  “A man should not partake in pleasures that are deprived of his wife or, in our case, his intended. Your discipline is also mine, and when you aren’t happy, I won’t be either.”

  Vanessa gazed up at him, pondering his words. Was he sincere or was this a ploy to gain her trust? She swallowed dryly, her mind twisting in a medley of questions and conflicts. “May I ask if this hair brushing is painful?”

  “It would serve no purpose if it wasn’t.”

  “And what purpose would it serve?”

  “To discourage you from repeating the same transgressions. It also serves to prove that your life holds my interest. Didn’t your parents ever discipline you?”

  “I believe that I mentioned before that my parents held no interest except for themselves, as well as their status in society. The cook frequently withheld sweets and sent me to bed early when I displeased her. I enjoy sweets, so it was tortuous.”

  Harrison snorted with amusement. “I’m sure it was. I also have a fondness for confection and often faced the same torment as a child. Other than that, am I to assume that there wasn’t meaningful discipline or attempts to correct unseemly behavior in your home?”

  “The only thing that I learned was that if I was undesirable, I was to be hidden from sight. Needless to say, I developed no trusting friendships and the only parties that I attended were those that required my presence to increase my parents’ status.”

  “What did you do with yourself during these parties?”

  “When I was not permitted to participate in discussions, I ate little, drank vigorously, and watched the time so that I could leave. My attempts at intelligent conversation largely failed, and I quickly gave up the attempt to find anyone who wasn’t dimwitted, ignorant or just plain stupid.”

  “I wish to change these things for you, Vanessa, but I can’t if you refuse to cooperate with me.”

  “You mean to say that if I refuse to allow you to strike me.”

  “Spanking is not the only form of discipline I can give to you. I will also want to pleasure you as well. Will you deny me that?”

  “I don’t know what I will permit or refuse. I have never experienced pleasure as delivered by a man, nor am I opposed to it.” Her voice was strained as she expressed these words. Would he see through her secret?

  “Nor have you experienced pain with pleasure. They go hand-in-hand, and you will learn of them.”

  “Your statement sounds as though you will be removing my ability to choose.”

  “I will, in a manner of speaking. Just not now. Not until you grow to trust me.”

  Vanessa pulled away from his warmth, distancing herself from the intoxicating closeness of his hard, muscular body. “If I were to be trained in another’s home, like that of Sir Landers’s, would I be given the same choices?”

  “You wouldn’t be given any choice.”

  “Do you offer these same choices to your other Unweds?”

  “No. They are disciplined as I see fit,” he answered firmly.

  “Do they also call you Poppa?” She held her breath, praying for the answer she wanted to hear.

  “They do not. That term is strictly for you.”

  Relieved, Vanessa continued to question him. “Why would you elect to treat me differently if your system is as tried and true as you say it is?” She wrinkled her brow.

  “Because you are different than those who’ve been here all their lives and this environment is strange to you. Now it is my turn to ask a question. Why are you so afraid of the pain?”

  “I’m not afraid.”

  “No? Is it the humiliation? The loss of control? The knowledge that you desire it?”

  “No! None of those!” She backed up as he slowly stalked her. Her hip struck his desk, and she clutched the edges with her fingers as he loomed over her.

  “Is it all of these things? Does your body quiver with excitement at the thought of being mastered? Bound? Explored?”

  “Never!”

  His lips were dangerously close to her own. “Never is a long time, Vanessa. What goes through your thoughts when you read the wicked words of these forbidden books?”

  “Nothing,” she whispered hoarsely, her eyes dropping to the soft luscious lips that brushed so close to her mouth.

  “Nothing? You don’t feel your tummy tighten? You don’t feel your heart race? You don’t grow in wetness between your legs? What don’t you feel?”

  “I feel nothing.”

  “What a beautiful liar you are! As you speak, I can see the flare of your nostrils, the quickening of your breath, and the pulsing of the vein upon your neck.” His mouth grazed her cheek. “If these signs are not a fright, then they can only be of lust.”

  “Please stop,” she whimpered as his mouth touched her throat.

  “You know how to make me stop.”

  “No, I don’t.” She trembled as his teeth nipped her neck, feeling powerless against his physical size. “Poppa, please stop.”

  He pulled away and smiled. “That’s my girl. I will never ravage you when you view me through the innocent eyes of a child. But you cannot have it both ways. Should you choose this path, you will be required to give up this false
belief that you have control? What do you want? Control or innocence?”

  Her eyes fell away from him. She was trapped between the needs of her body and the thoughts of her mind. Could she choose to be a woman and succumb to his seduction, or little girl and endure his discipline? Was it to be pleasure or pain?

  “Can’t I have both?” she whispered, her heart pounding loudly in her chest.

  “My greedy little seductress. You can, in time, but not for now. You wish to be given a choice, so choose. You must start with one or the other.”

  “How can I be a woman when I know nothing of how to be a girl?” Vanessa turned away from him, placing her palms on the desktop. “If there was pleasure in childhood, I’ve never known it.”

  “For a healthy, loving family, childhood is filled with pleasure.”

  “Do you offer me that pleasure?”

  “I do, and more. I will nurture all that you are and take you into womanhood in the way that you were meant to be. If you allow me, I’ll make you happy.”

  Tears filled her eyes. She was tired of fighting against people who didn’t want to acknowledge her; tired of struggling to prove that she had a mind; tired of being in control and yet not been able to change her circumstances. She was just simply tired — of everything.

  “If I truly have a choice, then it will be for innocence. All my life, I’ve taken the path of control and maturity, and I just don’t have the strength to continue.”

  “Tell me, then. What do you want?”

  “I want to be loved, nurtured and cared for. I want to know that I belong to someone and something other than a cause. I want –”

  “A parent? A lover? A teacher? A protector?”

  “Yes, all of those.” She paused and timidly turned to face him, saying meekly, “Poppa? Will you please take me home? I’m so tired and confused, and this place makes me uneasy.”

  He touched her cheek. “I can see the exhaustion in your eyes. I will ask one last time, are you certain that you want this?”

  “Yes. I believe so.”

  “Then you understand that the privileges of adulthood won’t be granted until I feel that you have earned them and that I will never touch you as a woman while you are still a little girl in my eyes.”