His Lordship's Lap Read online

  “I understand. Just promise me that you allow me to discuss my concerns with you as they arise.”

  “My door is always open to your needs, little one. You will be happy with this decision. I promise,” he said, embracing her and pressing his lips against her eyelids.

  “Does this mean that I will be spanked upon our arrival?” she asked with trepidation.

  “I offered you a choice, and I will not go back on my word.”

  “What if I change my mind?”

  “As I told you before, you need only to inform me.”

  “I cannot just blurt such a thing out!”

  “Just bring me the brush. Only then will I know that you’re sincere in your decision.”

  Chapter 5

  The slow walk back home to Ansley Manor was wet and cold as the pouring rain pelted from the dark, thunderous skies and drenched the couple to the skin. The maids rushed to their master’s side, stripping him and Vanessa of the wet coats and shoes and offering them towels that had been warmed by the stove. Harrison ordered a bath to be prepared for Vanessa and that hot soup and bread be brought to her room. When the maids paused in confusion, he simply said,

  “We need to take care of my little girl. Nessa? Up to your room, please.

  “Yes, Poppa.”

  The journey up the stairs of the large house felt as though it lasted hours. Chilled, soaked to the bone, and confounded by the thoughts of her new life left her feeling vulnerable and uncertain. She was also plagued with guilt. Not just for the stirring of trouble between Harrison and the student, but because her womanly innocence was not as great as she insinuated. Would Harrison believe her to be a trollop after the one brief dalliance that had followed an excessive amount of wine, over-zealous company, and having a rebellious nature? Her encounter had been brief, uneventful and uninspiring for the boy’s untried member was small and easily spent, the latter likely due to his inebriation. Since that time, she had sought ways to pleasure herself with the use of various vegetables and other items, always hiding in her closet for fear of being discovered. During these torrid moments, she would also use a thin switch to the back of her own thighs to bring the glorious sensation of pain. Could she admit these needs to her future husband and risk being rejected or ridiculed? He had confessed that his desires were beyond those accepted in polite society, yet could she safely speak with him about her forbidden yearnings and secret lusts? Shivering from both the cold and anxiety, she crouched before the coal stove in her room to add fuel and was quickly stopped.

  “No, Miss!” Marie scolded as she quickly removed the shovel from the girl’s hand. “You are not to touch fire. It is not safe.”

  “I am cold and quite capable of fueling these flames,” Vanessa said, placing her hands on her hips.

  “His Lordship has stated that you are permitted the activities of the child no more than ten years.”

  “I was feeding my own fire at ten,” Vanessa said stubbornly.

  “Perhaps in London that was permitted, but here children aren’t allowed to participate in any dangerous activities. These include the stoking the fires, using knives, and traveling without an escort. Also, drinking of spirits and the smoking of cigarettes and cigars is strictly prohibited.”

  “I am not a child, nor do I smoke.”

  The maid began to undress her, clucking as she did so. “When you called the master ‘Poppa’ in front of us, you immediately became the manor’s little girl. It’s a good thing, and something which many of us long for.”

  “Why is that?” The robe was tied around Vanessa’s waist, and she was led to the bathing area where a hot, steaming tub awaited her.

  “Childhood is a happy time for most here, and we long to return to that moment where we have no responsibilities other than education, art, music and the following of simple rules of our homes. It is a time for picnics, play, and silliness. Step carefully and do not slip,” Marie instructed, helping Vanessa into the tub.

  “Aren’t children punished for their misdeeds?”

  “Yes, but there are so few who require correction. Our children are taught respect and acceptable behaviors, and the only naughty things we witness are the stealing of pies and an occasional cheating on the subject in school.”

  “What happens to them?”

  “The parents are disciplined. If a pie is stolen, then the mother is required to replace it. For the cheating on an examination, the parents are called to the headmaster’s office where the father is reprimanded, and the mother is birched.”

  “Why is the mother punished for the children’s misdeeds? That is unfair.”

  “The husband is to provide an example to his wife. She, in turn, is an example to her children. Her shame is her husband’s shame, and the children are privy to the happenings of the household.”

  Vanessa shook her head, closing her eyes as the hot water was poured over her head. “What if the children did not care for their parents?”

  “Every child loves her mother and father, and would never deliberately expose them to the public’s ridicule.”

  “If only that were true, my friend. Not every child feels that way,” Vanessa murmured. “Had it been my parents receiving discipline, I would have misbehaved at every opportunity.”

  Strong fingers massaged her scalp. “The child’s actions are watched over the years and effects their training once they reach the age of eighteen. The habitually naughty child is sent to the strictest of homes where their behaviors are no longer tolerated. They know their future from the very minute they can comprehend the difference between right and wrong.”

  “Is that why you were sent to the Head of State?”

  Marie huffed and lightly yanked her mistress’ hair. “Yes. I was known to steal too many pies as a young girl and was caught several times drinking and gambling with the boys. My poor mother couldn’t sit for weeks because of me.”

  “Ow! No pulling. Can’t one hide mischievous activities?”

  “Of course, but the truth is always discovered. This place has too many eyes.” More water was poured over her head. “Deception will be exposed and with it, the consequences. Lord Harrison is a good and fair man and is desired by every woman who has met him. He has chosen you to become his. Enjoy and learn from him, but don’t be afraid to explore mischief. The worst that will happen will be a sore bum.”

  “I fear abandonment, not pain,” Vanessa confessed.

  “Such a thing does not exist in this house,” the woman said carefully, scrubbing Vanessa’s back. “Even during the horrible crime with his brother, Lord Harrison offered his home and the chance to start anew. He accepted his brother’s needs with open arms as though he truly understood but Jonathan refused and said that he never wanted anything else to do with his father, the laws and the Isle of Man. It broke Lord Harrison’s heart. They had been very close.”

  “I was not aware of that.”

  “It was a sad occasion for the family. Their father never forgave the boy’s shame and vowed to make an example of him if he ever showed his face here again. That was when Jonathan left for America. Lord Harrison wishes to be with you as you eat. Do not stand without assistance,” the maid said, wiping her hands on a towel.

  Vanessa contemplated her words. Harrison was likely in the same plight as his brother and experienced the same desires that went beyond the norm. If so, those desires could only be met by a select few and it was unlikely that many women like she and Bess existed in the country. She closed her eyes to listen to the ongoing sound of the rain beating upon the windowpanes, enjoying the hot water as the warmth penetrated her joints. On impulse, she untwisted the cork to the vial around her her neck and dabbed some of the sweet powder on her tongue. Within minutes, she felt her nerves start to relax.

  “Nessa?”

  “In here, Poppa,” she said groggily.

  “Are you still in your bath?”

  “I am. Marie said that I was not to leave without assistance.” She suddenly started to giggle.<
br />
  “You obeyed! I must say that I’m pleased,” he said from outside the door.

  “I told you that I can behave myself if I want to,” she rang out playfully.

  “I appreciate that. May I enter?”

  Vanessa hesitated and pulled her towel into the water to cover herself. “Yes. I am surprised that you asked my leave.”

  Harrison pulled a chair near to the tub and leaned forward with his hands entwined. “I am a gentleman, young lady, so don’t you ever forget that fact. Would you like me to feed you while the stew was still hot?” He gestured to the silver tray that had been placed on a table.

  Sitting up in the tub and clutching the towel to her chest, Vanessa nodded. “Please. I need to confess that I took a taste of the powder in that vial. It’s making me sleepy and quite uninhibited.”

  “Open.” Harrison smiled, lifting a fragrant spoonful of the Hunter’s Stew to her mouth. “How much did you take?”

  “About a salt spoon worth. I wasn’t instructed regarding the dosage. I do believe that I’ve had too much; it’s making me feel very bold.”

  “Is it now?” Harrison grinned roguishly. “You only need a tiny pinch mixed with some tea. Why did you take it?”

  “I was nervous and decided to cease fighting and allow your system a chance to prove itself to me,” she admitted. “Marie also said some things that made me reconsider my situation.”

  “And what things were those?”

  “She told me about how you accepted your brother and that all the women want you. I found that to be rather intriguing as well as disturbing. I don’t like to share.”

  “She should not be gossiping.”

  “She was not gossiping; she was informing. These people seem to think very highly of you.”

  “I think very highly of them. These people are more than my citizens; they are my friends and family. They all accept me unconditionally.”

  “Do you accept all of them that way as well?” Harrison shifted in his seat, saying nothing as he scraped more of the stew onto the spoon. Vanessa touched his arm and looked into his eyes. “You don’t, do you? You judge them.”

  “That’s my job. I’m not permitted to turn a blind eye to faults, flaws or violators of the law. I can only hope that they care enough for me that they won’t put me in a position that I have to enforce the rules. When my brother was charged, it tore a hole in my heart.”

  “Interesting. You apply that same type of expectation to children, hoping that they chose to behave to protect their mothers from being punished.”

  “It’s part of the accountability that we try to teach here.”

  She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “It’s admirable that, despite the law, you still try to offer them a better direction and a second chance.”

  Harrison looked at her and blinked. “Please forgive my reaction. I was not expecting such a change in your disposition towards me, particularly given the fact that you are being disciplined.”

  “I must be truthful and let you know that confining me to my room and having you visit me is a most pleasant sort of discipline and one that I would likely prefer,” she confessed, wiggling her toes in the water. “I do want to be happy and try to make the best out of a situation that I have no control, and I realized that I had to start with making the decision to trust someone. You were the most logical choice.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

  “I just ask that you don’t give me cause to regret this.”

  “I will do my best to hold your trust, but I will not compromise my integrity,” he warned.

  Vanessa nodded and, without warning, stood in the tub and exposed her naked body to his eyes.

  “You’re beautiful,” he finally whispered.

  “This is a test of your word. You promised not to force yourself on me or take advantage of my vulnerability,” she said boldly. “Help me out, please.”

  He wrapped a large piece of soft linen around her torso and lifted her from the tub, remaining silent as he patted her long, dark hair free of excess water. Hesitating for a moment, he proceeded to dry her body and then wrapped her robe snugly around her.

  “Go to your room and bring me back the hairbrush.”

  Vanessa paled. “Are you going to spank me?”

  “I am going to brush out your hair, silly girl. Unless, of course, you’ve changed your mind and want me to spank you instead of being confined.”

  “I really do want to attend that dinner. I like Sir Landers,” she said under her breath.

  “That is up to you, my dear. Now bring me that brush.”

  Vanessa clung to the wrap and looked about to ensure that no eyes saw her slither down the hall to retrieve the brush from her dresser. She handed it to him before sitting on the stool next to the hot, coal stove and held her breath as he gathered the heavy waves into his left hand. His touch was amazingly gentle, and she shivered at the feel of his fingers against her neck.

  “Am I pulling your hair?” he asked, stopping mid stroke.

  “No.”

  “Then why are you crying? Vanessa? Talk to me.” He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders.

  “I’m shameless,” she wept into her hands. “I showed myself to you because I wanted to prove you wrong. I’m sorry.”

  “You aren’t making any sense, baby. Did you think that I would ignore your statement regarding proving my word?”

  “Isn’t that how it is?” Vanessa trembled against him. “A woman does something foolish and deserves the consequences, no matter how slight. Even so much as showing the ankle is said to invite negative attention.”

  “A woman’s actions, even foolish ones, does not justify such behavior. Only a weak coward of a man would blame a woman for his lack of self-control.”

  “It was my fault.” She wept against his shoulder. “Everything that has happened is my doing.”

  “Shhh…” he said, rocking her. “What are you talking about?”

  “My stupidity is what caused everyone to despise me. I let things happened that I shouldn’t have just because I wanted attention.”

  “If someone has hurt you, that was their doing, not yours.”

  “I had wine and my defiance,” she sobbed. “No one knows. I’ve told this to no one. I don’t even know why am sharing it with you.”

  Harrison wrinkled his brow and ran his thumb along her cheekbones. “I won’t ever judge you for the mistakes of your youth. You have a new beginning here.”

  “I am despicable, Harrison. More than despicable. I’m an embarrassment to my family, my country and myself.”

  “I am your family, and this is your country now. You are safe and cared for here. Vanessa, the past is over. This,” he said, gesturing around, “is your future.”

  “I suddenly just want to kiss you.” Vanessa shook her head. “These feelings confuse me. What is happening?”

  “That is the contents of the vial speaking. It lowers your inhibitions by relaxing you. It also seems to act as a very potent truth serum. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

  “Not right now. I guess I shouldn’t make any serious decisions while under the influence of these herbs, should I?”

  “No, you should not. What are you doing?”

  “Going to my room. I need to lay down. I don’t feel well,” she suddenly announced, starting to sway.

  “Let’s get you to bed. Hand me that vial, please. That powder is too potent for a tiny thing like you to handle.” Harrison said, catching her.

  She snuggled into his chest. “I like pleasure,” she declared, running her hand over his handsome face.

  “You are not getting anything like that from me while in this state of mind. Climb into bed…”

  “I’m such a whore,” she giggled, reaching for his pants.

  Harrison gently removed her hands from his crotch. “You are not a whore. You are intoxicated. Now lay down.”

  “I want you to spank me,” she grabbe
d his hand and placed it on her hip

  Harrison sighed, firmly pushing her back into the bed. “This is enough now. Close your eyes and go to sleep. We’ll discuss this in the morning. That is if you remember anything."

  Chapter 6

  To her mortification, Vanessa remembered every detail, including how she had forced his hand on her naked breast and his reluctant removal. After donning a robe, she wandered downstairs to the busy kitchen.

  “Good morning, Miss Vanessa. Did the master give permission for you to join us?” one of the maids asked.

  “No, I need to talk with him. Where is he?”

  “In his study.”

  Vanessa raced to the office and barged in. She stopped in a screeching halt and stared at the sight before her. Marie lay sprawled across the large desk with her skirts raised to her waist and the thin cotton pantaloons on the puddle upon the floor. Edward had his left hand upon her back to hold her down as he swiped a thin bundle of sticks across the crimson cheeks.

  “What’s going on here? Marie?”

  “Have a seat, Vanessa,” Harrison said firmly, pointing to an empty chair. “Please continue, Edward.”

  “I want you to remember this birching the next time you decide to be cheeky in front of Harrison.” Edward landed another swipe across the very tops of her thighs.

  “Ow! I’m sorry, Edward,” Marie cried, yelping as yet another lash fell against her striped buttocks.

  “You should be very sorry, young lady.”

  “What did she say?” Vanessa whispered, digging her fingers into the soft chair.

  “We had a meeting last night after you went to sleep. Marie decided to help herself to an excessive amount of wine and proceeded to tell Edward to go fuck himself,” Harrison explained, crossing his arms with disapproval.

  “Marie!” Vanessa gasped, placing her hands over her mouth. “What possessed you say such a thing in public?”

  “Disregard the public comment and focus on the issue that she even said such a thing,” Harrison stated. “It was not only inappropriate but highly disrespectful.”